Top Ten Pet Peeves

1.     When people try to teach me something by asking a bunch of questions.

2.     When people ask why I’m so quiet.

3.     When people ask me to smile (I fucking hate this).

4.     When people laugh really hard when someone mispronounces a word or makes any other small, unimportant mistake.

5.     When people over apologize.

6.     When women or gay guys call people “honey” or “sweetie” when they’re being passive aggressive

7.     When people make fun of women for being “too skinny” when they’re not and look fine.

8.     When older people can’t stop mentioning and joking and pointing to the fact that they’re older.

9.     When people don’t realize they keep interrupting someone

10.  When people air-guitar

20 Favorite Bands/Solo Artists

This list was tough because I tend to get more into individual songs than bands, but here are the bands and solo artists whose albums I’ve enjoyed most:

20. Primus

19. LCD Soundsystem

18. The Cure

17. Nirvana

16. Modest Mouse

15. Boards of Canada

14. PFFR

13. Nine Inch Nails

12. Dave Matthews Band

11. Tool

10. Carey Burtt

9. Prince

8. Steve Reich

7. Radiohead

6. Black Moth Super Rainbow

5. Talking Heads

4. Smashing Pumpkins

3. The Pixies

2. Built to Spill

1. Ween

20 Favorite TV Shows

20. The Office - American (Before it got too sappy.)

19. Law and Order SVU (Only with Detective Stabler cause he’s a motherfucker.)

18. Ren & Stimpy (The best part of this show wasn’t the gross stuff, it was John Kricfalusi’s obsession with spoofing 1950’s pop culture.)

17. Arrested Development (Joke per minute ratio.)

16. Look Around You (Mind fuck. My type of humor to a T.)

15. Lost (First three seasons only.)

14. The Andy Dick Show (Re-watch it on Youtube, holy crap it’s funny.)

13. Kenny Vs. Spenny (At it’s heart – a battle between good and evil.)

12. Community (Sitcom writing at its best.)

11.  Rocko’s Modern Life (Watch it again and pay attention to the sound effects.)

10. Louie (It’s more honest than funny, and it’s really funny.)

9. The Sopranos (Always made me hungry for Italian food.)

8. Seinfeld (If it came out today I probably wouldn’t like it, but eventually would if I were forced to watch about 15 episodes. But I grew up with it and it’s familiar and comfortable. I like to put it on if I want ambient background noise other than music.)

7. Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job (I might not have laughed consistently, but it’s made me laugh harder than any other show when it strikes.)

6. The Wire (The only reason it’s not in the top five is because it doesn’t have a “weirdness” element that freaks me out.)

5. Freaks and Geeks (I don’t know why I liked this show so much. On paper it doesn’t seem like something I would like.)

4. South Park

3. Six Feet Under (Watching the series finale was the most emotional experience of my life, and I am an ice-cold alien. It hit me harder than any death, accomplishment, failure, relationship – anything.)

2. Breaking Bad (duh)

1. Mad Men

The list isn’t exactly in order of preference, but close enough, and no one’s paying or assessing me so I’m not going to put in the time perfecting the order because I have other shit to do. Also, there are hundreds of popular shows I haven’t seen at all or enough to put up here. Which brings me to a sub-list of acclaimed shows I should probably watch, of which I’ve only seen few or no episodes:

                       

1.     30 Rock

2.     The Walking Dead

3.     Alias

4.     The West Wing

5.     Game of Thrones (really want to see this, I’ll probably buy the DVD’s and spend half of my next vacation watching them)

6.     Dexter

7.     Twin Peaks

8.     The Good Wife

9.     Orange is the New Black

10.  Modern Family 

Five Funniest Moments

1.     Watching Tim and Eric’s Spagett sketch the third time. The first time I saw it I thought it was kind of funny. The second time I saw it I thought it was hilarious. The third time I saw it I was on a hotel room bed unable to breathe, wondering if anyone in the adjacent room was worried.

2.     In third grade this overweight Chinese kid fell off the swing set and landed on his back. He was fine, but I couldn’t stop laughing.

3.     The broken pen scene from Earnest Goes to Jail.

4.     During a childhood sleepover, this kid was a heavy sleeper and was sleeping on his front. Another kid pulled his pants down just below his butt, and I dropped pennies into his ass crack. Every time the pennies dropped his ass cheeks would clench up.

5.     In high school English class, we were discussing The Canterbury Tails and it was the most painfully boring experience of my life. At one point my friend pointed out a packaged tampon under the desk. The mixture of the immaturity of my friend pointing it out and the tone of the class was too much. I was asked to leave the room.

Top 20 Favorite Films

20. American Beauty

19. Raging Bull

18. Jurassic Park

17. Bladerunner

16. Klown

15. Fight Club

14. American Psycho

13. Casino Royale

12. One Few Over The Cuckoo’s Nest

11. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

10. Philip Glass: a Portrait in Twelve Parts

9. Toy Story 3

8. In the Bedroom

7. Taxi Driver

8. Wet Hot American Summer

6. To Live and Die in LA

5. Casino

4. The Shawshank Redemption

3. Back to the Future

2. The Comedy

1. Adaptation