Five Funniest Moments

1.     Watching Tim and Eric’s Spagett sketch the third time. The first time I saw it I thought it was kind of funny. The second time I saw it I thought it was hilarious. The third time I saw it I was on a hotel room bed unable to breathe, wondering if anyone in the adjacent room was worried.

2.     In third grade this overweight Chinese kid fell off the swing set and landed on his back. He was fine, but I couldn’t stop laughing.

3.     The broken pen scene from Earnest Goes to Jail.

4.     During a childhood sleepover, this kid was a heavy sleeper and was sleeping on his front. Another kid pulled his pants down just below his butt, and I dropped pennies into his ass crack. Every time the pennies dropped his ass cheeks would clench up.

5.     In high school English class, we were discussing The Canterbury Tails and it was the most painfully boring experience of my life. At one point my friend pointed out a packaged tampon under the desk. The mixture of the immaturity of my friend pointing it out and the tone of the class was too much. I was asked to leave the room.