I think the turn of a new year is the right time to bring up something I feel strongly about.
That thing you like to think and talk about doing someday: that screenplay, that competition, that career - as your friend, I hope you take the first step toward doing it.
You look up at the clouds and think, "They look soft, like I can squeeze them, cool and crisp," then realize you've been concentrating too hard and your feet have lifted off the ground and you're rising, and it's sort of terrifying, so you look back down at your boyfriend/girlfriend, parents, bed, favorite TV show and restaurant, all on the ground, and sink back to where gravity feels safe and comfortable.
One day these things you talk about might ring their last echo, and you turn out okay not trying any of them, thank god.
I hope you try this though: Get spooky. Be a big dumb fucking idiot and take the first step, and suck at it, and keep sucking at it. It's great, I've been doing it my whole life. But I have an immortal belief that one day my idiocy will adapt and evolve into something new that doesn't suck, and I'll make cool shit, so I can sit in a dark room, drunk, alone, cold, and still feel proud of something. If not, well, I think trying alone is something to be proud of.
Or you can let your ego fizzle out. Be one of those people whose uncracked "Chinese For Beginners" book props a window open, and you won't care about taking steps anymore because inertia feels like velvet against your cheek. I can only speak for myself, but that makes me sad, dude.
I have too many smart and talented friends who are only getting better at thinking and talking. If they tried being bigger dumber terrified idiots who walk head first into stuff they're excited about but don't understand, that would make me quite happy, and them too.
No comments:
Post a Comment